and it's my special day again

i will stop looking back with regrets or looking forward with fear and give the best I have today.from Dance While You Can by Lance Wubbles

“today” is the day and i'm due for a yearly reflection. the day is mine as well as the hours. saturday is special only today; special for a special "me". i had many good birthdays i must say. there were years that it had been very celebratory, much of it were just calm and reflective and my other birthdays just went by just like any other normal day.

adding a year to my already big 42 transpired without much thrill and anticipation. as always, i prefer the simple and silent which stirs up my ever inquiring and indulging self to the many questions of existence. i did, somehow, plan ahead along with my munchkins who insisted that we hang-out in a hotel, dip ourselves into a jacuzzi and have our meal in a restaurant. i only smiled at the idea and thanked them for trying to help me out think. i ended up not having anything concrete to do even at the last minute or during the day itself. all i know, my birthday is going to come no matter what.

my life has been pretty great; eventful in a good sort of way, tastefully spiced up and seasoned. i both live and exist. i have been genuinely and profoundly transformed by the many life's incidents i face everyday. challenges and events continue to surround me and it's just a matter of choosing the options that best fits me and discarding those i feel will drag me down.

today, i celebrate with gratitude my 43rd year with wings, prayers and promises. grateful for joys and struggles. i will make it a point to nurture the lessons i reaped in to fully blossom and eventually fruit. what i realize as my age increases, i tend to search more for reasons and the more i aspire for purpose and significance in life.

my heartfelt thanks to "you" for always thinking of me and for your messages from across the miles; to my munchkins who circled the number 19 on the calendar and who counted the days until this day - i love the handmade cards which was done with so much fun and effort; to my officemates for the cards and surprise birthday croissants; to my family in manila for their text messages and to my brother and his family in dubai. all of you made my birthday mean so much.

i thank god for this life, my health and where and what i have right now. there's not doubt, i'm a year older again and i'm all out to counting for more if it meant sharing my life with the people who accepts me as i am. i just wish and hope for the time to slow down even for just a little bit so i could relish life piece by piece.